Ho Ho Healthy!

Merry Christmas friends and family!!

            'Tis the season of celebrating everything we love all in one day- the birth of our King, the company of loved ones, the taste of delicious food, and the pleasant warmth of giving and receiving gifts. I hope this week finds all of you in good spirits, or if not, that you will receive the Christmas miracle you've been praying for. As for myself, as many of you know, I have been feeling pretty down-and-out for the past week or so, and will be joining in the prayer for a Christmas miracle. Jason and I have had to cancel most of our plans for the holidays due to me not feeling well and being mostly couch-ridden, but progress is being made.
           With all this extra time on my hands to think, I've been reminding once again how blessed I am by those around me. My best friend, Abi, was here for a week and I couldn't have asked for a better caregiver- she put up with me and my sick grumpiness, an ER visit, and our two crazy dogs! Mom has helped with groceries and cleaning. Grandma has helped Jason go on the errands I couldn't fulfill. Dad brought me flowers, my stepmom made us a tasty breakfast casserole. Last but never least, Jason has, as always, been my best friend and the world's greatest husband throughout the struggle this holiday season has been so far. He ordered flowers for me, cooked for us, took care of things around the house (even vacuuming!) and continues to encourage me and make me laugh even on the lowest days.
          I've also been thinking about what a blessing health is! God has created our bodies to be absolutely miraculous, and I can't help but realize how much I've taken that for granted before. We put them through hell so often- working out, too many desserts, playing sports, getting surgeries, who knows what else, and most of the time, they pull through. They fix themselves over and over without us even having to think about it. On our most exhausting days, they continue to serve us as our mind order them to. Even just imaging what Jason's body has recovered from will revive any lost faith. However, as I've been scrolling through my Facebook more than usual with this extra time, I've read so many stories of wonderful people struggling with awful health issues. One of my friends delivered her baby 3 months early, my uncle is recovering from cancer, my stepmother has been suffering after her accident, an acquaintance is losing their grandma. God has blessed me with exceptional health for the most-part, so I don't think I've ever noticed how many are suffering from bodily issues they cannot control until this week when I myself have been down. I'm ashamed of that, but also thankful for the wake-up call.
          All things considered, this Christmas, I want to send out a world-wide prayer for all of those struggling with daily tasks: from running, to walking, to even moving a finger. I pray for healing physically, mentally, and emotionally from every infection, injury, and disease for each of you who feel weak as you read this. May your recovery start mentally, and may those who surround you bless you and your family. My hope is for God to be with you, and for His presence to improve everything you have been suffering through. I wish for restoration for anything that was broken or hurting to be completely whole again, especially your hearts and spirits. Lastly, I pray that all of us, myself included, will remember to thank God every day for the blessings we have, including our wellness, and remember to praise Him through EVERY season.
         
          God bless each of you today and this week! Have a very cheerful, merry, Christmas!


Rachel Hallett

"'I will restore your health and heal your wounds,' declares the Lord." 

Jeremiah 30:17

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." 

Numbers 6:24-26

Two of my favorite people who take such good care of me:
my best friend Abi & my hubby!

Special thanks to you-know-who for the bouquet!
(Yes, I've worn PJs all week)

Jason cooking for us- he made delicious orange chicken, rice, and veggies.
Means the world to me.

Who Cares If the Laundry Isn't Folded?!

Good evening, friends!

          Jason and I have finished the semester strong! We both finished with good grades and are so thankful that it's time to enjoy Christmas season and break! This means more time for me to write, also. Today, I was trying to teach my newbie self how to use this site, and had the chance to browse some blogs- I even learned how to follow other blogs! ;) I am the WORST at technology, so let's just consider that the accomplishment it is. If anyone who comes across this blog knows of any others I should read, please comment and let me know!

          This afternoon, I have been thinking about the challenge it is to try to make others understand the situation Jason and I are in. Ever since we moved in together last year, my life has been flipped up-side-down. Almost every aspect of my life has incorporated something new that has taken time to get used to. Through this process, we have found that most people living "normal" lives have a hard time understanding our life, and our daily processes. More than once, I have been asked, "What are you always so busy with?" or, "Why are you late?" These people are rarely asking to be rude, more just out of curiosity. However, I never know how to answer those questions. How do I explain in a short answer: I'm busy because I'm the only driver and we have 100 appointments a week, I'm late because I had to help someone put on their legs, take care of two dogs, make breakfast, and make sure my face is at least presentable. At first, it was so hard for me to get used to the responsibilities I have, and believe me, I still have my days! I would spend hours on the phone crying to my mom or friends, freaking out about always being so tired, asking how I could do a better job, and wondering why God had given me such a big job. I gained 25 pounds. Through it all, I prayed. Like every day, ALL day. I apologized a lot, especially to Jason, for losing my cool every now and then and for being an over-all emotional wreck. Most of all, I reminded myself that I COULD handle it, I WOULD get used to it, and things WOULD get better. 

          Sure enough, two dogs, a new state, and a school semester later, I only have mental breakdowns once a week... Just kidding, but really, I feel so much better and a system has somewhat been created in our lives. I spent SO long carrying the weight of others' expectations. Every time anyone came over and laundry was on the floor, I panicked and felt embarrassed. Every time we were 5 minutes late to an appointment, I explained myself. Every time anyone asked about Jason's legs, I went into panic mode. I had such a hard time giving myself mercy and grace that I couldn't imagine anyone else offering it. The key to keeping your cool in any stressful schedule or life situation, is giving yourself a break, and reminding yourself that you are doing your best! 

          I've finally realized that cooking, cleaning, driving, scheduling, running errands, exercising, and doing school is a lot for one person, and if I can't do all of those things every day (a lot of days) it's OKAY! When I was at Hanger Clinic Double-Amputee Bootcamp last summer, I had the honor of meeting the wife of an above-knee double amputee, who also had a young son. We didn't talk that much (we were both busy being caregivers), but she inspired me. I saw the exhausted look on her face, but I also saw how much she laughed at the little things. Wheelchair wouldn't fit through a door? She'd laugh. Son spilled his juice and wouldn't stop crying? She smiled and cleaned it up. I don't remember what I posted on Facebook awhile back, but I will never forget the essence of what she said. It was something like, "Just do your best, and if all (or any) of the laundry doesn't get folded, who cares!" 

          Just like that, my life changed. I have been laughing more, I've loved myself more, and I think Jason has enjoyed my company a lot more, too! Jason may always have a hard time with prosthetics because of his bone growth, and people never understand that, but we do, and we know he is doing his best. I may never have a sparkling house, but I will always have a full heart. I'm still working on getting back in shape, but I've lost 15 lbs! In the battles of life, we have to choose. Do we pick ourselves, or do we pick ourselves apart? 

Just keep swimming, and ENJOY your week!


Rachel Hallett

Honor Bowl, October 2013. After I had gained 25 lbs!

November 2014. Down 15 lbs, much more calm and happy!!

"...He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Jason's Essay

Happy Wednesday Bloggers!

          Jason had to write an essay this week about someone he is close to, and he chose me. These are some of the sweetest words I've ever read, so I thought I'd share. :) What a beautiful reminder of the blessing I have in my husband!

Essay written by: Jason Hallett

A year ago, my life was a high and drunken mess. I was either passed out or blacked out, trying to kill the pain of my past. I did not truly understand how to regain my footing after being severely injured. My faith was tested, and as a person I had grown weary of life. My wife revived my will. She helped rebuild my interest in my faith and reaffirm my conviction to it. Rachel gave me the support system I needed to quit my meds and slow my drinking...and that is just the beginning. I can never thank God enough for giving me Rachel as my person I get to spend my whole life with. She helped me in my youth when we first dated all the way back in eighth grade, and she still helps me every day now that I am a grown man. Just over a year ago when we moved in together, she started by helping me reaffirm my faith, break my pain-pill addiction and alcohol abuse. Since then, she has helped me get into college, eat healthier, and always keeps my head above the water. God gave me a great woman, who supports me in all I do, and has won my heart in the process.

 My wife has been the biggest factor in me surviving the major hardships of my life. When we dated in eighth grade, she had no idea she saved me then, and now she has no idea she saved me more recently when we re-entered one another’s lives all over again and re-kindled our love for one another. While in eighth grade together, Rachel and I dated; we were crazy about each other. She was not allowed to have a boyfriend and we were separated from one another at the end of the school year. During the time we dated, outside of school, my life was a struggle. At home I was not a kid, I was a parent to my younger brother and I was severely abused, along with many other problems. Rachel was the only part of that period in time where I was happy. Every day I went to school and passed notes with her, my world was good again. When we were separated, our hearts were broken, but I vowed to return five years later as a military man. Sure enough, I returned, but was three years late because of the injuries I sustained in Afghanistan in 2010. When I reached out to Rachel on Facebook my life on the outside seemed ok to many. I had finally finished my two year stay at the hospital, and my outer wounds were “healed.” I was taking courses at a local college, working on getting a home and pursuing stock trading. However, most of the people around me did not see or know that I was hurting inside; even I was trying to avoid the pain. I was constantly high on pain pills, partying, and drinking. I had everything materially, but I was missing the feeling of someone being by my side, a shoulder to lean on when I was weary. God knew I needed Rachel to come into my life, to stabilize me, and renew my faith. Without Rachel’s support and constant uplifting, I would never come as far as I have. Because of her care and love, I am now completely involved in my faith. I am in school full time, off medicines, I only have a couple drinks a month, and my dream of being a portfolio manager is closer than ever.

When Rachel and I re-connected on Facebook last year, I was in California and she was in Colorado. In my heart I knew I needed to reach out to her and fulfil my promise to return. It was by God’s design that she would come back into my life and help me rebuild my very soul. When Rachel flew from Colorado to my little apartment in San Diego, she did more than just visit me- she gave me hope and truth. She saw through my mask of a life and saw that underneath what I had made habits, I was hurting and falling apart. She saw my abundance of medicine and threw them out, knowing I truly did not need them. She then helped me control my drinking and other bad habits. While I was healing from these issues, she motivated me to go to church with her. She not only healed my mind of the destruction of my past. She pulled me out of a dark corner I had shut myself into. She even helped me re-build and strengthen my relationship with God, which is now another great help when I am troubled. The crazy thing is, she did not even mean to do half of what she did. She never once told me to stop drinking, but when I was with her I was comfortable and happy enough not to. She never begged me to go to church, I just wanted to see what was making her glow every time she talked about God. For a million reasons, I will be forever grateful for this woman.

As I’ve explained, my life was very unstable before Rachel. I had no real plan for my future. When she moved in with me in San Diego, she motivated me and gave me the support structure I needed to succeed. Without her, every aspiration I had would have been an uphill battle to capture. Before Rachel moved out to California, my foundation was fractured, and I never felt like I had a home. I had no true support to lean on to reach my goals. No one really took the time to understand my struggles and weaknesses, or helped me overcome them instead of just running from them. Now, Rachel is always there to support me when I’m down. When I have a rough period in the stock market, she reaffirms my capabilities in my goal to manage money for others, and then reminds me that everyone has a bad day sometimes. My wife is also there to celebrate the good days by my side. She knows how to make me feel proud of myself, and how to make me laugh. Ever since our relationship, and now our marriage began, my wife has helped me keep pushing, even during the times I want to quit. I know that without her I would be missing something very important. I would be a ship without a rudder. Because of Rachel, I am a firm believer in a phrase someone once told me, “Behind every great man, is an even greater woman.”

Without my wife, I do not know where I would have ended up. I do know that my faith would be weaker, I would still be trying to kill and drown my pain, and I would not be pursuing my dreams with the drive I am now. Rachel truly has shaped my life in a positive way, has helped me regain my footing, and has helped me conquer the demons of my past. I am forever grateful for the woman she is, and honored to be her other half.

Second Chances, Family First

Hello Everyone!

          Happy December- one of my favorite months of the year! It is finals week here, and I only have one left next week, which means I have some free time to write and reflect. And I'm so thankful for those of you who take time to read my rambling! Still waiting for a first comment though ;) Today, I'm going to give you all a little sneak peek into where I came from and what my world is like now so you can get to know me a little better! 

         Growing up, my family focused on spending A LOT of time together, and to this day I'm so thankful for that. I have two brothers, one named Michael who is 2 years younger than me, and Ben, who is 5 years younger. We were all homeschooled for most of our school years, and our family had a strong faith-based foundation placed in the home. Like any family, there were ups and downs. I almost always felt very close to my mom, dad, and brothers. One of the best parts of my experience growing up was that I never felt alone, and always knew my family had my back. To this day, I cannot think of even ONE fight my brothers and I have ever had! However, rules were really strict in our household. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 18, absolutely no swearing, tight curfews, no C's in school, etc. At the time, I struggled a lot with understanding some of the rules I had, but now I can at least see half of the reason ;) 

          Hands down, the hardest experience of my life with my family was during my parent's divorce, and the times that led up to it. For as long as I can remember, my mom and dad did not get along. I can still remember Michael and I at the age of around 8 and 6 laying on the floor listening through into the ceiling of our parents room as their fighting kept us up at night. Still, somehow, we never saw their separation coming. When it did, I was both relieving and worried- I wanted each of them to be happy, but I was so afraid they wouldn't. Our religious background was extremely anti-divorce, so I was completely thrown off by the whole thing. Before my parents had officially divorced when I was 17, I had already moved out of the house that they would soon sell, and in with one of my friends. 

          It has now been years since their split, and our family is just now coming back together and finding our new rhythm. I have a hard time saying that my parents being apart is for the best, because I know God's will is always for marriages to work; however, so much health has come out of some distance and new beginnings. There is never an easy way to restart after an entire family dynamic is thrown out of what it has always been, but I'm so thankful we are getting close. 

          In the past couple years, my mom has began a new career that has helped her gain independence, and a new sense of confidence. Even better than that, our relationship is a hundred times ever than it used to be. I can truly say my mom is now my BEST friend, and there was a large period of my life that I would have never dreamt of that happening. God has formed such a strong bond between us. It is incredible how we are like mother-daughter, sisters, and best friends all in one. I used to always feel like I didn't measure up to her expectations, and she used to feel like I put up a wall around her, but everything has changed. There is no one (other than Jason) I can be more myself around, or count on more than my mom. 

          My dad remarried last year, and seems happier than ever. I only met my stepmom about two years ago, so it has been a bit of a windy road to try to figure each other out and get to know one another, but I think this year has been a year of growth for us. I had to get used to not being my Dad's only lady, and she had to get used to all three of his kids. It's difficult to move forward so much with someone who you've only known for a short time, but I've learned that it's all about communication. You can't be afraid to have gut-honest talks with them just because they're new, and it's extremely important to ask questions, and address any elephants in the room. Forgiveness is also key, to all parties involved! Things will be said, and need to be forgotten. When you give someone a chance, you may end up actually enjoying the person you've gotten to know. I know I have :)

          So, there you go.. A little bit about me, and what has made me who I am. Ever evolving, always improving! My background story is probably a pretty average American kid classic, but I'd love to hear all of yours! Where did you come from? How have you handled changes in your family? 

Have a great first week of the last month of the year!

Rachel Hallett

Michael & Ben (My brothers)- December, 2013

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things..." 

1 Corinthians 13:8

Thanksgiving

Hi Blog Friends,

          I would like to begin by thanking all of you for bearing with me as I tackle this college stuff, while trying to somehow at least type up something worth reading on here whenever possible! If anyone is actually keeping up with this, I'm grateful for you!

          Most importantly, HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!!! I know I'm a day late, but that's the beautiful thing about this particular holiday... It is a culmination of hopefully 365 days a year that we are thankful for what we have. It is one day that celebrates each of the little moments in each of those God-given days that blessed us, and brought joy to our hearts. 

          This year, for Thanksgiving of 2014, there are SO many things I am thankful for. So many people who I feel honored to know. Maybe, I can somehow communicate at least some of that here. This year has been a time of growth, of new beginnings, hard work, blessings, humility, joy, romance, and puppies. Jason and I returned to our hometown in Colorado to be around people who mean the world to us. Speaking of those people... First and foremost is our big family. We now live 45 minutes max from all of our immediate relatives, and that is absolutely PRICELESS. It is incredible to be able to not have to worry about buying a plane ticket, or needing to catch up. 

          A few specific individuals who really stand out in my mind as I write today are my mom, and our brothers. My mother is a saint; I still haven't been able to figure out if she is Mother Teresa reincarnated! Her love for me and Jason is out of this world, and she knows how to show us. She comes over and walks our dogs when we are swamped with homework, cooks for us when we're sick, and even though she doesn't know it, our lives are filled with additional positivity every time she converses with us. Both Jason and I have two younger brothers. That's right, free comedy, and free manual labor (actually I force them to let us pay them)! Two specifically help a tremendous amount. When we are out of town for prosthetics, they puppy sit, when I'm stumped on a lab, they'll help me figure it out. When I need a shoulder to cry on, I know I have 5! (Or would that be 10?) 

          As I write, I'm quickly realizing there is no way to express all the blessings I am thankful for, or all of the thoughts I am full of. So, I will save that for a more personal form of reaching out to each of you, but I just want to touch on one more thing. I am SO thankful for Jason and my own growth this year. We only began dating just over a year ago, but when I look back and think about the young crazy kids we were, I can't believe we have come this far. We still have a long way to go, but we made it! We got married, we moved across states, we got back in school, and we conquered a million demons in the process. No one, including myself, will ever know the details of Jason's childhood and past. But, I know most of it, and to say the least, it was rough. When you add in the trauma of going to war, and then coming home a completely different person physically, most people would agree that he had every right to quit. Every day, he has that option. To quit trying, to quit improving, to quit opening up his heart, and to quit believing. We all do. Yet, instead, every day I see him WALKING (he has been 6/7 days per week for 3 weeks!), studying, trusting God, and deeply caring for people around him. And that has inspired me to follow his example. My background isn't perfect either. It's nothing in comparison, but the few years before Jason came around were ugly. When he came around, I knew it was time to grow up, and become someone better. So I did. He did. We did it. And we COULDN'T have done it ALONE. 

THANK YOU to everyone who has led us, guided us, encouraged us, and set examples for us to follow from last Thanksgiving when we got engaged to this Thanksgiving. As previously mentioned, a large chunk of that core group is our family! We love you with our whole hearts! Also, our friends. Y'all have been so patient with our hectic schedule, and we don't see you nearly as much as we want to, but you're such a light in our hearts. This next year, I hope to do a much better job of seeing you as we are finally settled down!! Thank you to Homes for Our Troops for giving us an opportunity to live free of extra worry. Thank you to the Lind/Donahoo family for going out of your way and taking us into your arms! 

Last but never least, the Vail Veterans Program. There are no words for the impact this program has had on both my husband and myself. Each time we have enjoyed the beautiful weeks in Vail participating in the trip, we have spent countless hours doing activities that bring us closer, and build Jason's confidence. I see the caregiver wives who have not let any sort of injuries slow their family's progress down, which has given me the boost to keep pushing forward in all aspects of our progress. In case that doesn't express enough of our gratitude, we chose to get married at the Vail Veterans Program in July of this year. We knew that we were surrounded by people who we see ourselves striving to be like in the future. The families there model what courage and commitment means. Jason even got to meet a finance guru who is also an amputee and has found the ropes in that industry. I got to meet Cheryl, the president of the program, who encompasses everything a girl should dream of growing up and becoming. We hope to work with her in the future and learn from her and everyone else in the program as long as we possibly can!  

I'm thankful for growth, friends, family, and every military member who sacrifices to protect our dreams, and for YOU!! 
God bless each and every one of you!


Rachel Hallett

Marine Corps Birthday Ball 2014

"I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers."

Philemon 4:7

Sanity and Success

Hello Blog Friends,

          It has been a beautiful, orangeredyellowbrown, leaf-crunching, Starbucks-sipping kind of Colorado autumn this year. I have enjoyed it so much in fact, that I've collected a scarf of nearly every color, and have the boots to match! As I'm sure many of you can relate, with the joys of autumn, also comes the business of school, whether that be your own or your children's.

           Jason and I are both attempting to earn our degrees, which means running around like chickens with our sleepy heads cut off to make it to and from class in a timely manner five days of the week. The sixth day of the week is spent catching up on any sort of social lives we attempt to keep, and the seventh is booked with cleaning and attempting to catch up on homework.

         With this quick-paced rhythm, I've found myself getting used to keeping up, but somehow never catching up. Of course, I make phone calls, I turn in my work on time, I fold the laundry (usually); but as I fulfill all of the demands my hectic life has created, my heart seems to be begging for attention. Not romantic attention... Lord knows my husband is everything I love and adore. My heart is yearning for quiet time. Time to breathe, think, and find what I really desire to become. Yet, I somehow keep denying myself! Instead of taking a trip to the mountains to enjoy the fall aspens, I book an appointment.

          Is this crazy pace simply having responsibility, or is it being addicted to busy? Is it more important to do homework, go to the dentist, the gym, or to go on a date, a bike ride, or create something beautiful? All of these things are necessary, and there is nothing to be criticized about any of these tasks or activities, but how can we do it all? Better yet, how do we decide what to say yes to for the sake of our success, and what to say no to for the sake of our sanity?

          I'm well aware that this blog has no conclusion, and no advice. I have written in hopes of hearing some answers from the wise voices out there that I may be lucky enough to have interested. Hurry, before I pack two suitcases, and surprise Jason with a couple one-way tickets to a cabin somewhere in the middle of nowhere!
      

         God bless you all and Happy November.. It's the month of thankfulness- the best gift any of us could ever have the honor of possessing! :)

Rachel Hallett

Pumpkin patch with my pumpkin!

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens." 

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Finding Purpose

Hello Blog Friends!

I hope each of you had a great week, and an even better weekend! For some of us, this was the first week of school, which means BUSY! Jason and I both started classes again, and we officially have the first 5 days of school down, which I am considering a huge accomplishment since we set up our schedules to be the same so I could push him to and from every class. We even managed to make it to all of our classes on time!

Most of my week has been jam-packed, with school (have I mentioned we're back in school?), appointments, cleaning, cooking, and non-stop homework (since we’re back in school). This did not leave a lot of room for quality time together, but when the weekend came, we made sure to make up for that since yesterday marked our very first month of marriage.

Since I promised to always type my mind for you, today's post will be a celebration of my marriage. I want to let the world know what makes the man I gave my heart to over a year ago so special. He is constantly given credit for his heroic military service, so it's only fair that he gets some recognition for his incredible husband dedication as well.

Love is the most powerful human interaction the earth will ever have. Love impacts every ounce of our being, whether it be love for another person, love of a cause, love for the Lord, or even love of a hobby. Once you've experienced true love, whether you keep that person or lose them, your life is forever changed; from the way you think, to the way you choose to let others into your heart in the future.

I can very clearly recall the exact split-second when I knew my life had been changed forever.

It was during a high school graduation party for a friend of mine. There was music playing loudly, and people twirling and clapping in celebration. The aroma of cake and frosting was in the air. Everyone was dressed up, and no one had forgotten to wear a smile. Something about watching people pass successfully from one chapter of life to another was beautiful. Hearing someone speak about the proud moments of the past that would be stair-steps for an accomplished future reminded everyone in attendance of the dreams they used to have, and even put hope back in people's hearts who had long-since let the distractions of life dim what they used to want so badly.

I was sitting next to my mother, who was sipping punch as I was enjoying a slice of delicious cake. We were watching everyone dancing, and laughing as we saw one of my younger brothers attempt to flirt with a girl he had noticed. I felt carefree and happy, but shallow. My life was decent- I had accomplished a bit of college, I was single and no former flings were on my heart anymore, I was living in a beautiful townhouse with one of my best friends, and I had a fun job at Victoria's Secret.

My current situation wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was great. I was finally in a stable, relaxed place in my life. However, I felt a disconnect between my mind and heart in the midst of it all, because I had listened closely and taken in the speech during my friend's graduation ceremony. Afterwards, as I was sitting there savoring my slice of cake, I was flustered because the speaker had inspired me to chase my dream, and now I really wanted to. Just one problem: for the life of me, I could not come up with what "my dream" would look like. I had absolutely no clue where I wanted to be in 5 years, I had no direction, and therefore, my life was lacking purpose.

In an attempt to brush my overthinking away, I checked my phone and jumped onto Facebook. I saw a friend request. Jason Hallett...Confirm or Not Now. I wanted to leap in the air! My heart skipped 3 beats! My mind rushed a million miles an hour as I pressed the Confirm button. That is when my whole life change. Somehow I knew it would, and I wanted it to.

         It had been almost 8 years since Jason and I had been the most in-love of all 8th graders there ever were. We had lost touch at the end of the school year because our parents had switched us to different schools against our wishes. Over time passed, I had tried to reconnect with him by looking for him on Myspace, Twitter, Facebook, you-name-it, but I'd given up after a few years of realizing he was nowhere to be found.

But here he was again! I had often wondered where his life had taken him, but I was not prepared to find out, which I did when I began scrolling through his Profile Pictures. I reached over and grabbed my mom's arm, then jumped up to my feet. "Mom, Mom! Guess who just added me! Jason Hallett!"

I didn't need to explain further; she fully remembered him and our short but sweet romance. "No way?! What is he up to?"

As one can imagine, the first picture of him that I clicked on shocked me. He was handsome as ever, his blue eyes pierced right through the phone screen, and that mischievous grin he'd always had was still covering his face, cheek to cheek. But the thing that my eye immediately focused in on, was his right arm... It was gone! Wait, his left hand wasn't normal either. I teared up. I had no idea what I was looking at, I felt so sad that he had been through such a horrible thing (whatever it was), and in my shallow state-of-mind, my hopes of us reconnecting romantically were dashed. "Omg Mom, he's missing an arm!" She teared up.

I then scrolled to the right to see his next picture. And there he was. Still handsome, looking so grown up, but absolutely and completely different than I ever would have pictured him in my wildest imaginations. He was short, and that was because he was standing on fake legs (I didn't even know that they were prosthetic stubbies), because he was missing BOTH of his legs. The tears streamed down my face. What had happened to my Jason??

I decided to lady-up, and forced myself to pull it together, since I was in public, at an event where everyone around me was dancing, after all. I looked through his About Me section briefly, and saw that he was employed by the United States Marine Corps, which put a small smile on my face because even as a 14 year old, I remember him always saying that he wanted to be in the military when he grew up. My mind was now racing a trillion miles an hour, so I decided I had to know what happened, and the only way I could do that was to ask the source. Compose message to Jason Hallett: "Jason! Long time no talk!! Thank you for finding me, I can't believe this! First of all, thank you for your service, I can see that you are a hero and sacrificed so much for our country. Second, how are you?! We have a lot of catching up to do..!"

And that we did. When I thanked him for finding me, I meant on the internet, but little did I know, he found my very soul. There was no pause button from that moment on. I know that before Jason, I had never experienced real love, because when I saw that he was a triple amputee, I have to confess that I only saw us ever being friends. I couldn’t picture my life being that exciting or out-of-the-ordinary. I couldn’t imagine myself being strong enough to overcome the daily struggles that he had to be facing. But that's exactly how Jason Hallett swooped in and changed my life: he gave me purpose. He gave me a dream to achieve. He gave me a desire to live outside of myself and to expand the little world I had always known. Jason changed my mindset, changed my love for other human beings, and opened my heart to dig past the shallow passings, into the roots of my core being.

Since that very first day when he knocked on the door to my heart and I carefully opened it to let him in, he has swept through every room of my being, adding on a hundred more rooms, without even knowing it.

One month ago, I made the decision to marry my soulmate. I know that will forever be the best decision I'll ever make, and that being his wife is the highest honor I will ever hold.

Jason Kyle has been my rock since day one. He is stable, even when I am a 30-foot wave crashing, spiraling, and sinking. He has an irreplaceable way of always seeing the beauty in life, and in me. His love is tender, reassuring me that I can whisper the fears of my innermost being into his ear. His love is strong, reminding me that we will always make it. His love is constant. Ever since he came along, I have never spent one day fearing that someday I will be alone. Jason takes the time to know everything about me. He knows that if I'm quiet, I'm probably over-thinking something. He knows that I buy dozens of frames, but never put pictures in them. He always goes the extra mile to take care of our little family. One time when I was exhausted after a long day of cleaning and organizing, I woke up from my nap to find him in the kitchen, leaned over in his wheelchair with a scrubber attached to his left nub, doing the dishes. He is profoundly wise. His insight and knowledge spill over into all aspects of our lives. His faith is truly enough to transform a mustard seed into a mountain. He is a Believer. He believes in himself, he believes in me, he believes in God, and he believes in the good in the world.

My life has been given such deep purpose and fulfillment because Jason decided to reach out to me, then took me in and loved me unconditionally. He loved me before he knew me, and he loves me now that he knows everything about me. Yesterday marked the first of a million months filled with the best thing this life has to offer-- love.

As I write this, I'm realizing that this entry is very long, and it may bore most of you. However, this is a risk I will just have to take, because my heart and mind is surrounded by the love I have for my unfathomably amazing husband, and I can't have a blog without letting the readers know what holds my world together.

Just like that high school graduation speech inspired me to find my purpose and create a dream, I hope that this blog inspires you to find love, and invest in someone who brings meaning your world.

Thanks for listening, have a blessed week everyone!

-Rachel Hallett-

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken..." 

Isaiah 54:10

Steps of Courage

Hello my new blog friends!

I can’t believe it; here it is, FINALLY time to write my first entry!

This blog is a giant step of courage for me, and I have to admit that I fidget a little bit, even as I type these first few words. I have been pondering the idea of starting up a blog for over a year now, even so much as making a whole one post on a previous blog last summer. Yet, something in me was blocking me from making the big step of actually giving the idea life. Something caused me to delete my old entry, deactivate my initial attempt at blogging, and stuff the urge to write deep down inside.

            Even after a year of this feeling barricading me from what I wanted to do, I still have yet to pinpoint exactly what it is.  So, the best I can do is guess. My pressing guess is that all along, it has been fear causing me to tie my own hands behind my back. Fear that others will not understand my situation, that others will not care to read my story, that they will misunderstand what I write. Fear of failure. Fear of judgment. Fear of rejection.

            I know I should probably be writing about something more significant for my first blog entry- such as my husband and my self’s wedding three weeks ago, our trip to Vail over this past weekend, college starting again next week, an update about my husband’s journey with mobility, or the fact that I am attempting to build up the nerve to begin juicing. However, Wings and Warriors will forever be about exactly what is on my heart. I do my best to live my life honestly, thoughtfully, and intentionally, so I cannot see my blog working any other way than to reflect that. So, what better place to start this openness than in this very first post?

            Back to the subject of fear. Specifically, fear of the opinion of others. As you’ve gathered, I am guilty of letting this feeling eat me up inside. On good days, I often only care about making sure others can tell that I’ve showered and dressed myself decently. On bad days, fear of what others think can ruin my whole day. Starting in the morning when I accidentally order my Starbucks wrong and then slink out of the cafe forcing an unpleasant coffee down my throat, and ending at night when I lay in bed wondering if I do enough for my friends and family.

            Obviously, writing this blog is not myself saying that I’ve accomplished the problem mentioned, but it is me choosing to tackle it head-on. As much as possible, I’m going to write an entry about my day, my thoughts, my life and put it out there for the whole internet world to see. That is terrifying! But more than that, it is extremely liberating!

            Imagine if we could all take one little step a day to overcome our insecurity and forget our worry about what those around us may think. I bet if each of us committed to choosing confidence instead of fear, just once a day when the chance comes up, after a while, our worlds would be such more pleasant places to live. I believe that with enough of those tiny steps towards bravery added up, we might even be able to get enough courage to kindly ask the barista to redo our coffee, exit Starbucks with our heads high, and return with our shoulders back the next morning!

            I’m kidding of course, because I am positive that one decision a day to choose to build ourselves up instead of second-guess ourselves would do far more than that—it would give us the ability to chase down our demons, conquer our mountains, and find peace within our souls.

            We all have something to offer the world that no one else can. Our value is infinite and none of us were placed on this spinning planet by accident. This also means that we were each created to have unique passions, thoughts, and ideas. One person may feel a rush when they hike to the top of a peak, whereas another may feel a sense of purpose when they create a new app.  Where would the world be if both of these people did not step confidently into their destinies? Either the world would be a cubicle overrun by computers and numbers, or it would be the opposite, and we would be struggling to make technological advances. Listen to the stirring in your heart, and take a step of confidence in knowing the value of what you, uniquely you, have to offer.

            God bless you, friends!

- Rachel Hallett-

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

2 Timothy 1:7 NIV

Red Sky Ranch and Golf Club, Vail CO