Monday, August 17, 2015

Faith Over Fear


          Wow, it's been awhile! I have to admit, I shied away from blogging for a few months because I've always had a hard time opening up to people I have not known closely for many years. I know, not many people would guess that. I am very friendly, and I am mostly an open book, but it is hard for me to share deep things that mean something to me. It's scary to put your heart out there and hope that people accept it. Unlike my wonderfully independent husband, I do take others' opinions to heart- probably a lot more than I should! Yet, my heart keeps telling me to share my story. My spirit keeps telling me that someone out there needs to hear it, and I need to hear theirs. So, here's to choosing faith over fear.

My beautiful bridesmaids!
          This summer has been marvelous, and I am in denial that this is the last week before the fall semester begins! I took a couple summer classes, nannied part-time, and continued caregiving. Jason took a summer class as well, and got hired as a Financial Advisor (his DREAM job!); he will start in October. I could not be more proud of how hard he has worked to get to where he is. Also, we had our big wedding in Estes Park at the gorgeous Stanley Hotel with all of our closest family and friends. It was an honor to meet so many of the heroes that my husband served with, and to have our loved ones by our sides as we celebrated the best thing that's ever happened to us both. Our special day was my absolute dream come true. I will admit that I was one of those five year olds who had already started planning what I wanted my wedding to be. Sure enough, it was full of bling, butterflies, beauty, and my Prince Charming. God is so good y'all.. I have no idea what I did to deserve these blessings, but I am forever grateful!!

...and the handsome 3/5 guys
          As much as I loved every second of saying "I do" once again to the man I treasure, I am so glad the wedding planning has come to an end. That means more free time, and the thing I have been most afraid of opening up about... our IVF journey! I cannot even begin to express the nervousness that I feel when I think about sharing what we are going through in this part of our lives. There are thousands of people out there who will never be able to imagine what walking in our shoes might look like. However, there are many who will, and those people need things to change. We are sharing our IVF journey to reach them, and to hopefully improve the process. In all of this, we pray that they will reach back to us.

The best hiking buddy

          Jason and I have struggled with combat-related infertility. That is, due to the excessive shrapnel embedded throughout his body, we will likely not be able to have children of our own without the help of modern technology. Thankfully, the option of in vetro fertilization is out there. Unfortunately, this is a very expensive procedure, costing up to $25,000 per try. Even worse, although this is a problem stemming directly from Jason's time in Afghanistan, the procedure is not covered by the VA. In March, a bill was introduced (specifically, HR 2257) that would require the VA to cover IVF for all veterans who are unable to have children naturally due to service-related injuries. This makes perfect sense, since our military men and women were promised to be taken care of in the case that any complications were to arise from their service. Yet, it is another area where the government has chosen to let them down. So now, we have to pay out of pocket for Jason's trips to receive prosthetics (and wait months every time) on top of paying to have our own family.

Can't get enough of the mountains :)
          To be honest, it infuriates me that people like Jason were willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING to protect the very people who refuse to help them receive what they deserve. While we are baffled at this reasoning, we are thankful that people are noticing, and voices are being raised to make changes. Two of our friends who are also dealing with this problem have shared their story with CBS News, which empowered us to say yes when PBS NewsHour reached out to us. Two members of their team spent a couple days out here in Colorado with us to interview us, and show the world where we are coming from. It will hopefully air in September, so stay tuned!

          All of this is stressful, difficult, and even painful at times. Yet, I cannot help but keep the end in mind. In the end, every long appointment, every needle, every phone call, and every ounce of effort will be worth it, both when we see things change, and when we see our beautiful baby. When I think of our future family, there is no price that is too high to make that dream happen. We will do anything, and we will try to help as many others along the way as we can. By being bold and speaking up, our veterans can spread their priceless knowledge and powerful love onto the next generation.

          Please keep us and others in similar situations in your prayers, and feel free to reach out!

          God bless you and yours!

Our wedding caricature!


  1. Goodness, y'all are such a beautiful couple! That wedding picture is simply gorgeous. I found your blog awhile ago and I am always so excited to read your posts when they pop up on my feed! Your story is so genuine and honest and beautiful. We wish you nothing but the best and sending prayers for ease and comfort in your journey to grow your family, and you will certainly make some pretty babies!

    Kourtney @

    1. Wow, I'm so thankful that an amazing lady such as yourself found me and reached out! I have been praying for so long that God will bring people like you here to be there for each other. We will be keeping up with you and your fam! :)

  2. This is really well put, darling. I can't read "every ounce of effort will be worth it, both when we see things change, and when we see our beautiful baby" without tearing up. how truly precious indeed. What a miracle every child is, what a miracle yours will be in particular to you both and to us around you. Seeing this journey come to such fruition (as it already has) from what started as such devastation on the battlefront is profoundly humbling. I couldn't be more proud and happy for you both. Keep on encouraging and lifting others up and in that you will be too. I really believe this is your calling. ..And let me never dampen your dreams!! Love you so much.