Wings and Warriors: If Mama Ain't Happy...

Hello World,

As some of you know, Jason and I took a short trip to Navy Medical Center Balboa to get information about a possible arm transplant for him. We spent two days traveling, and one day at the hospital for appointments and meetings. Veterans Airlift Command provided a private jet flight for us, which made everything immensely easier! I learned way too much to remember everything, and we also got to meet some outstanding hospital employees who did everything in their power to make our trip and consultation flawless. Jason was overwhelmed with excitement of the transplant possibilities. It was rejuvenating to hear such hope in his voice. Of course, as his wife and caregiver, I worried plenty. Don't get me wrong, I was (am) thrilled, but Jason is the idealist, and I am the realist in this relationship. I'd like to think it is more of a balance than a conflict. ;)

As doctors informed Jason on his possible options to improve function, I listened and tried to block out the voices in my head that demanded to ask, "What are the possible complications?" "How do you know this will even work?" "What if..." I tried to shut up and only ask the important questions. To my relief, every doctor, plastic surgeon, etc. gave honest answers and happily informed us of everything we needed to know. I also managed to not have a heart attack as I watched my sweet husband get literally over two dozen x-rays done of his entire body. As a caregiver, worry is something I am all too familiar with, and I know I can't be the only one. If you are someone who is blessed (or possibly cursed?) with a huge heart like mine, you know the drill. I'm definitely thinking parents are included here.. Your entire little world revolves around everyone but yourself most of the time. For a select few of us, our hearts are not only involved with the well-being of our loved one, but our jobs are too. This heightened responsibility to keep everyone healthy and happy is rewarding at best and draining at worst.

Some days I have it all together and move a hundred miles an hour, which is good, because it makes up for the days I can barely gather enough energy to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I've come to realize that is fairly normal, especially if your life is moving at crazy pace like mine. The most important thing I've learned to stay sane, is to remember to keep myself as the priority. Bare with me-- I know that sounds selfish, but it is quite the opposite. I take care of myself not just for me, but for Jason, and for my future. If you take care of yourself first, you will be able to take care of those around you substantially better than if you fail to do so. Finding time to take care of your OWN needs is ESSENTIAL to keeping a clear head, being productive, staying healthy, and accomplishing your own goals. The obvious needs such as healthy diet, exercise, and relaxation can very easily be thrown the curb when you're juggling a stressful life. However, if you want to keep up the pace for more than a few months without having an emotional breakdown, all of these components MUST be included in your routine.

So, for those of you who think you just might cry if you have to look in the mirror at your sweats and messy hair one more time, go do something for YOU. Go to the gym and take out all your built up stress on that stair-stepper. Put some Ed Sheeran on, lock yourself up in a comfy room, and read a book. Take your mind on a mini-vacation. Draw something beautiful you've seen today. Splurge on some healthy organics that will boost your week. Go get that mani/pedi you've been putting off. Whatever you need, go get it. Forget about the guilt of leaving the house (my biggest me-time interrupter)-- everyone will survive for an hour or two, and they will thank you for taking care of yourself later! The kids will love to see their mom having more energy, and your husband will enjoy your fresh hair-do. Most of all, YOU will look in the mirror and be happy with YOU.

Jason once told me, "The best thing you can do for me is love me." There is pure truth in that statement, and you cannot love anyone to the fullest potential unless you also love yourself. I dare you, go do something for yourself! Good, now do something for yourself every day this week. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. You can even just light a candle and enjoy a hot cup of tea before bed, but make sure you take care of you. Nothing will be more rewarding for the whole family than to see the person who takes care of them feeling confident. After all, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Keep up the good work, and enjoy life! :)

Rachel Hallett

"He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul."

Psalm 23:2