If Mama Ain't Happy...

Hello World,

         As some of you know, Jason and I took a short trip to Navy Medical Center Balboa to get information about a possible arm transplant for him. We spent two days traveling, and one day at the hospital for appointments and meetings. Veterans Airlift Command provided a private jet flight for us, which made everything immensely easier! I learned way too much to remember everything, and we also got to meet some outstanding hospital employees who did everything in their power to make our trip and consultation flawless. Jason was overwhelmed with excitement of the transplant possibilities. It was rejuvenating to hear such hope in his voice. Of course, as his wife and caregiver, I worried plenty. Don't get me wrong, I was (am) thrilled, but Jason is the idealist, and I am the realist in this relationship. I'd like to think it is more of a balance than a conflict. ;)

          As doctors informed Jason on his possible options to improve function, I listened and tried to block out the voices in my head that demanded to ask, "What are the possible complications?" "How do you know this will even work?" "What if..." I tried to shut up and only ask the important questions. To my relief, every doctor, plastic surgeon, etc. gave honest answers and happily informed us of everything we needed to know. I also managed to not have a heart attack as I watched my sweet husband get literally over two dozen x-rays done of his entire body. As a caregiver, worry is something I am all too familiar with, and I know I can't be the only one. If you are someone who is blessed (or possibly cursed?) with a huge heart like mine, you know the drill. I'm definitely thinking parents are included here.. Your entire little world revolves around everyone but yourself most of the time. For a select few of us, our hearts are not only involved with the well-being of our loved one, but our jobs are too. This heightened responsibility to keep everyone healthy and happy is rewarding at best and draining at worst. 

          Some days I have it all together and move a hundred miles an hour, which is good, because it makes up for the days I can barely gather enough energy to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I've come to realize that is fairly normal, especially if your life is moving at crazy pace like mine. The most important thing I've learned to stay sane, is to remember to keep myself as the priority. Bare with me-- I know that sounds selfish, but it is quite the opposite. I take care of myself not just for me, but for Jason, and for my future. If you take care of yourself first, you will be able to take care of those around you substantially better than if you fail to do so. Finding time to take care of your OWN needs is ESSENTIAL to keeping a clear head, being productive, staying healthy, and accomplishing your own goals. The obvious needs such as healthy diet, exercise, and relaxation can very easily be thrown the curb when you're juggling a stressful life. However, if you want to keep up the pace for more than a few months without having an emotional breakdown, all of these components MUST be included in your routine. 

          So, for those of you who think you just might cry if you have to look in the mirror at your sweats and messy hair one more time, go do something for YOU. Go to the gym and take out all your built up stress on that stair-stepper. Put some Ed Sheeran on, lock yourself up in a comfy room, and read a book. Take your mind on a mini-vacation. Draw something beautiful you've seen today. Splurge on some healthy organics that will boost your week. Go get that mani/pedi you've been putting off. Whatever you need, go get it. Forget about the guilt of leaving the house (my biggest me-time interrupter)-- everyone will survive for an hour or two, and they will thank you for taking care of yourself later! The kids will love to see their mom having more energy, and your husband will enjoy your fresh hair-do. Most of all, YOU will look in the mirror and be happy with YOU. 

          Jason once told me, "The best thing you can do for me is love me." There is pure truth in that statement, and you cannot love anyone to the fullest potential unless you also love yourself. I dare you, go do something for yourself! Good, now do something for yourself every day this week. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. You can even just light a candle and enjoy a hot cup of tea before bed, but make sure you take care of you. Nothing will be more rewarding for the whole family than to see the person who takes care of them feeling confident. After all, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

Keep up the good work, and enjoy life! :)


Rachel Hallett 

"He makes me lie down in green pastures, 

he leads me beside quiet waters,  

he restores my soul."

Psalm 23:2

Our impressive pilots with Veterans Airlift Command.

View of the Colorado Rocky Mountains from the airplane.

Coming up on the Grand Canyon.

Had to share this x-ray of Jason's arm.. He just might be a robot!

American Sniper

Happy Sunday!


         Last night, we went to go see American Sniper. As I'm sure you've been told at least a dozen times already, it was an incredible movie! I am thrilled to see movies such as American Sniper, Lone Surviver, Unbroken, Fury, etc. hitting the big screen and racking up such impressive ticket numbers. I felt an extra connection to American Sniper, as I devoured the entire book in just over a week! I spent hours over that time reading it during work outs mostly. Nothing will get you to enjoy 100 steps of stair steppers, miles of biking, or sweaty sauna stretching more than reading about an American hero! Jason also loved the movie; even more than the other recent war movies. He said he enjoyed seeing the family perspective, in addition to the military side of things. I'd like to think maybe that's because he can relate to that side now ;)

         Everyone warned me that I would be a mess the entire movie, and I was convinced they were right. Afterwards, a few people asked me what I thought of it. I was sure I'd be wrecked. On the contrary, although I absolutely recommend the film, I was not affected by it very much. I think that just shows how far I've come in this past year and a half with Jason, and how much war and recovery is part of my family life now. I was not effected by American Sniper, because I am affected by our heroes every day of the year. I feel like every moment of my life is filled with awe of these men and women who have put their lives on the line for our great country. My entire life has been shaped around the daily struggle and progress of my very own hero, and I cannot help but have monumental admiration for others who have been through similar things in war and after. 

          I was, however, affected by the reaction of everyone in the theater. Jason and I bought our tickets at least 6 hours early online so we could be sure to get good seats, then we showed up 40 minutes early. When we got to the theater, there was a line of AT LEAST 150 people waiting for various showing times. I was tense, because I have a hard time watching these movies, as so many of them hit too close to home. I also get nervous watching them because every one of those true war stories are holy ground to me, and I often find myself struggling if anyone around me is disrespectful toward Jason, or toward the memory of these heroes. 

           Sure enough, we got in this insanely long line, only to have a girl standing next to us look right at Jason, then say, "Actually, the line ends down there...." I had somehow not noticed the line wrapped around the room one more time. I'm not sure what gets into me in those moments, but I almost lost it on this clueless girl. I thought, "Do you not see this man in front of you? Someone who served and will continue to serve every day of his life for you? Do you realize that this movie you are about to see is about honoring these veterans??" Instead, I realized how little of that she would understand, so instead said sternly, "Yes, we will just go all the way back there, thank you." I have no idea what it is about that sort of ignorance that makes me lose my mind, but I think it is the fact that so many of the people standing in that line clearly thought American Sniper was just a movie you could walk into, and then go home from. For me, it's one of the stories that follows me home. Jason and I live every day of our lives with the reminder that freedom isn't free, and that true evil exists and is active. Every day, we remember those who never came home, and those who came home to their entire life being flipped up-side-down.  

          I know that I need to get over that type of thinking, because most of the time those people are truly naive, and have no idea how their words may be portrayed. I also know that Jason never expects special treatment, but I feel that he and his comrades deserve it. I've been trying to make it a point lately to be gracious, and more respectful to such individuals than they often are to us. In those moments when someone says something I find disrespectful, I have to remember all the people who have been so good to us. Those are the people worth focusing on, and those are the people who make us keep pushing to be the best we can be, as a couple, and as individuals. Taya Kyle wrote a profound thing at the end of the American Sniper book that I will never forget. She mentioned the advice that she took from the film's screenwriter, Jason Hall: "You don't want to become an old, bitter woman-- we've all seen them, the women whose faces are tight and who look at life with bitter, san eyes." So, in that moment standing in line, facing the girl who's words I found so rude, I remembered that, and I chose to change my mindset. Instead, I thought of the kind things hundreds have said to us, and then I looked around us. 

          Every show of American Sniper that night was sold out long before it even began. Thousands of people just in our little city came to be part of Chris Kyle's legacy. To me, that shows tremendous respect; not only for the heroic Navy SEAL that he was, but for other military members who have fought such battles. During the entire viewing of American Sniper, the entire crowd was completely engaged. Everyone caught every joke, everyone's faces reflected the tragic events they were watching. In my entire life, I've never seen such a dramatic reaction at the end of a movie. EVERYONE in the sold-out theater was silent; it was like walking out of a funeral. Everyone seemed to feel the power of Chris Kyle's story, and life. After opening my eyes to try to find the good in the things around me, I decided to view the packed seats as part of America's small way of saying "Thank You" to Chris Kyle, to my husband, and to the thousands of other courageous warriors among us and before us. American Sniper; The Legend, the book, the movie, and the theater experience will forever be a treasure that I cherish. 

 -Rachel Hallett

Celebrating our 6 months of being married
to the man who always finds the best version of me.

Never been so motivated during my workouts!
American Sniper got me pumped during cardio and sauna time.

         

Veteran Voices Being Heard

Hello Friends,

           Thank you to so many of you for standing with us, and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers this week as we dealt with VA/prosthetics issues. I'd like to think that all of our voices were heard, and that maybe someday the VA will make veterans benefits more easy to access. The good news is that we are leaving OKC today with Jason in his new socket, which means he will be WALKING out of the airport! Hanger Clinic was extremely helpful in working with us to make sure Jason's needs were met. The bad news is that we are still waiting for the socket to be paid for by the VA. So far, it sounds like they are going to approve it and pay for it, we're just hoping for sooner than later. By no means am I trying to bash the VA, I'm simply pointing out the fact that some of the red-tape needs to change. Veterans should not need to fight so hard for access to their benefits that they already fought and served our country for.

          Yesterday, a reporter from OKC's 9 News Channel, Steve Shaw, reached out to us after an anonymous source emailed him my previous blog post. We were honored to interview for the channel and share our story. Once again, the point of our interview was not to complain, but to bring attention to serious issues at hand that have a troubling effect on our lives and the lives of so many other veterans and their families around America. I understand that there is need for authorization and the VA should never hand out free money, but I believe that each veteran case is unique, and ought to be treated accordingly. If a veteran is missing three limbs and has constant issues with prosthetics that show up without warning, he should not have to make an appointment at a VA 2 hours away, then wait weeks for the appointment, then wait months for papers saying that the prosthetics care they need is or possibly is not approved. Every time that happens, that means months out of legs, sitting in a wheelchair. That pushes progress back, and means starting from scratch every time.

           No one wants to be that aggressive, demanding person, but in this case, I feel that we did not have a choice. I felt backed into a corner that was only possible to escape by fighting at every possible angle we could think of. It makes me uncomfortable to have be so stern when it comes to Jason receiving his benefits, but as long as that is the only option, it's not a choice I get to make. I know that Jason, as well as thousands of other veterans, proudly served our country, trusting that our country would take care of them when they came home. I only hope that our country rises up to meet that responsibility. No hand-outs or frivilous charges, only justice and needs that these veterans have earned and were promised would be fulfilled.

Here is Jason's clip from last night's OKC 9 News! God bless!

War Veteran Travels From Colorado To Oklahoma For Help- News9.com



-Rachel Hallett

"This is what the Lord Almighty says: 'Administer true justice; 

show mercy and compassion to one another.'" 

Zechariah 7:9

OKC 9 News Interview- Steve Shaw and Jason Hallett

 

A couple badass USMC veterans getting prosthetic work done at Hanger Clinic

Jumping Through Hoops (Or Even Just Walking)

Hello again, friends!

          Jason and I are on a routine prosthetics trip to Hanger in Oklahoma City. We just got off the phone after a disappointing call with the VA, and are trying to make the best of an unfair situation. It is so hard to watch the man that I love and whom I see literally sweat every day just to get around the house be treated so poorly. I understand that he "volunteered" to do his job in Afghanistan, and I know he is proud, as he should be, of serving in the military, but I am appalled at the way he is treated after the sacrifices he made for our country. What makes me even more furious is knowing the he is, by no means, the only hard-working veteran out there who is being neglected by our government. I wish I could do so much more! To explain the current situation, I will have to give you a little lesson on his amputations...

          Jason has been walking so much that he has lost volume in his left leg, so he needs to get refit and have his socket replaced with one that won't come loose every time he sits down or moves around. It's hard to explain these sorts of things to anyone who hasn't dealt with amputees, but to put it simply, a "socket" is the upper part of the prosthetic leg that attaches to whatever is left of the amputated limb. It is one of the most crucial parts of using any type of prosthetics, since everyone has a unique shape and size. Having a socket that fits correctly  is essential to keep the prosthetics attached and functioning. See? You learn everything new every day! But you're not done yet...

          One more lesson on understanding Jason's leg, and some others' as well. Jason has some extreme Heterotopic ossification, more commonly known as bone growth or "HO" on his left leg. HO is a process in which bone tissue forms outside of the skeleton. There are all sorts of different types, but Jason has serious issues with bone growth on his left leg. Almost the entire inner thigh is full of it, and even some of the most experienced prosthetists in the country have said it's one of the worst cases they've ever seen. The easiest way I can think of to explain it, is to imagine a clump of bumpy concrete. That's what his bone in that area feels/looks like from the outside. Now imagine stretching a thin strip of fabric tightly over it. That is what his skin in that area reminds me of.

          Stay with me, I promise there's a point here! Okay, so to wrap up this lesson on the anatomy of Jason, he has sockets that attach to both of his legs for prosthetics. However, on the left leg, we have struggled for a long time trying to find a socket that would not rip that thin layer of skin covering the HO. There have been dozens of times that the pressure from his sockets caused his skin to rip, exposing his actual bone on the left side. Last year, we thankfully began working with Hanger Clinic out of Oklahoma City for prosthetics. They have given us a new hope for progress, and have helped shine light into our world when things were looking pretty dark. Jason's specific leg prosthetist has worked over time many days to find creative and unique ways to help Jason with his tricky leg situation. After just over 9 months, Jason's prosthetist created the first socket to EVER work for him without ripping his leg up! That new fit had Jason walking almost every day during the end of the school semester.

          After all that walking, his leg lost some volume since he was using it so much, so we needed to return to Oklahoma to work on another functional socket. So, thanks to Wounded Warrior Project (who pays for our flights/hotel stays during these business trips), here we are in OKC ready to get some work done. Then, BOOM, disappointment hit. Today, we were informed that the paperwork for Jason's new socket has not been approved by the VA. We called the PT contact, and Jason's case manager at the Cheyenne VA, only to be told that they will not approve any "major changes" such as this new socket unless he comes into the Denver prosthetics office in person, even though we are out of state, and needing work done ASAP. The way we were spoken to on the phone was degrading and offensive, but the least of our concerns. Really, all we want is for Jason to be able to walk.

          The PT contact we spoke with continually said, "I understand your frustration/situation, etc..." as he continued to deny or help find any type of solutions. Finally, I lost it. I said, "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but until you are in a wheelchair unable to use anything but three fingers, please never tell me that you understand again." I'm just glad I was recording the phone call so that I kept my cool to some degree. Maybe I should feel guilty about this, but I don't. I don't feel bad for the times that I've been infuriated by the lack of VA care. I don't feel bad when we ask for people to do their jobs. I don't feel bad when we demand to utilize our rights. I don't feel bad for expecting more for our veterans. I cannot comprehend how it has to make my husband feel to have to fight for EVERYTHING he has..including wheelchairs, prosthetics, education, and dentist appointments. (The VA has recently also tried to discontinue his education benefits.)

          I can't think of many things that kill me inside more than seeing the lack of respect and appreciation so many people have for the sacrifice my husband and others made for THEM. Countless VA and other personnel have made it damn near impossible for Jason to access his promised benefits and care, even though he is one of the few who was willing to give his entire life to protect THEIR rights and freedom. I apologize for the venting in this blog, but I do hope that you will all read it, just to understand the VA system a little more, and to encourage you to assist veterans. I cannot even imagine what would happen if I were not around. Jason would rather walk away sometimes and settle for the bare minimum than make the dozens of calls it takes to get help, but as his wife and caregiver, I will not back down until he gets what he needs. So, that is precisely what I will do in this case as well, as always. I will do everything in my power to ensure that my veteran is treated with the respect he deserves, and to help him better himself- whether that be walking on prosthetics or going to school. I pray that each of you reading this will stand with our heroes, and reach out to veterans around you to make sure their voices are being heard, and their needs are being met. Please be someone they can come to and count on.

          I'm truly thankful for all the people in our lives who have been here for us, and have helped us in ways that the VA would not. Thank you to so many of you for helping us move, providing equipment to help Jason, and even for just showing him how much you care. The VA can say "they understand" all they want, but it's kind people like you, friends, who SHOW us every day through your sincere actions. Please know that we are forever thankful for your efforts, and that there are hundreds of other veterans, wounded warriors, and their family members who could use some extra help. So far, I've contacted two senators, and am waiting to hear back from the VA tomorrow in hopes of the socket approval that they have said is "in no way guaranteed." If it is not approved tomorrow, Jason may be off legs and bound to his wheelchair indefinitely. Please stand by us, especially Jason, in thoughts and prayers as we work hard to try to fix this mess by tomorrow. We know we can count on you, and we love you for that!!

Rachel Hallett

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act."

Proverbs 3:27

       
       

The one and only Jason Hallett, who never gives up, and never stops fighting.